One of the biggest desires of my heart is to raise a kid with an outward perspective in her life. This inspired us to created the ultimate Halloween Hack to teach compassion!
I noticed a lot of times with awesome holidays like getting dressed up, going to Halloween and trick-or-treating, it’s so much fun but seems to un-train my daughter.All year long I teach my baby to say “please” and say “thank you”. Then on October 31st she’s going to strangers houses and saying “trick or treat”, getting carcinogens in the form of candy, then saying thank you without much human connection and running away. It feels like it’s been un-training what I trained all year long and turning the focus more towards selfishness instead of towards the spirit.
I took her out yesterday. We had an awesome time. We went to a little costume party at the Museum and it was a sweet little party where people were dressed like owls, birds and frogs instead of witches and ghosts. It was a sweet low key time, but I still noticed that there was a really heavy pressure on her to focus on herself instead of others. She was thinking, “what candy am I going to get? When is it my turn?” My heart really went out to her because that’s a lot of pressure. I experienced that too, growing up.
I wasn’t encouraged to do much for Halloween as a kid. But on Christmas and birthdays, I remember that the pressure was always on. It was hard to have an attitude of gratefulness when the focus was self absorbed.
Focus on what’s happening for me, to me. I just had this like fire lit in my spirit to make something different. So we came home and I’m just thinking “Oh my good
ness. She hasn’t even had candy. She hasn’t even had sugar, Why is she kind of derailing an it’s almost like she was acting like she had a sugar which is like wiggling all around”. I realized she was experiencing the pressure of being selfishly focused. I just took a minute to pray, meditate actually was doing an activity next to me on the table and I took a few breaths and asked “What am I supposed to know? What am I supposed to do to shift the focus?” That’s when I got a fire in my belly because I realized this is the perfect opportunity to teach her how to serve others and teach her how to have an outward perspective and to be compassionate. In these times she can turn whatever is given to her back on other people, so we created “reverse trick or treating”.
We went out and tricked the neighbors by treating them so we going knock on the doors and we’d say : “Trick or Treating reverse” and they’d open the door, look at us completely dumbfounded, and say:
“Oh I don’t have any candy yet. I’m sorry”
Then Mia would say “Surprise! We’re here to serve you! Do you want some organic candy made from fresh fruits and vegetables, or would you likea fresh baked pumpkin spice muffin?!”
It was so sweet” as their jaws dropped and they couldn’t believe what we were doing. They wanted to have pictures with her and we went to homes around the area that we could walk to where people couldn’t get out of their home to go enjoy or we know a couple other people who they don’t get to see their grandchildren. Maybe they live too far away and we went and we serve them and to watch as my child was ignited. She had a different perspective. She was outwardly focused and her heart of compassion towards others blew me away.
I’m looking at this kid, thinking “Wow, the only thing that changed was the way that we were perceiving what was going on”.
The plan afterwards was to take her to a little trick or treating event by the mall. My husband’s very very traditionally likes to do the trick or treating. He likes to do all the traditionals and I love that but I also feel compelled to uphold our goals with her and our main goal is to give her an outward focus and a heart of compassion. So we went to go trick or treating at the mall and we were to have her say please and thank you and just be polite and be the sweet self that she is. Well she was still trick or treating in reverse. So she would get a piece of candy, she would say thank you and she would looked for somebody to give it to. It was so neat because she’d walk up to these babies get down you know really low up to down to their eyes which they’re not much shorter than she is but it was the cutest thing and she’d say
“Would you like some candy? You want to trick or treating in reverse?”
The kids would look at her like “what?” She would give that piece of candy to the child. And it was so heartwarming to kind of see the outward perspective.
Halfway through she’s started to think about the candy she was giving away:
“Well I think I’d like to have candy too” and we’re like “Awesome, sure!” Check out all the candy that you get and Daddy will hold your favorite one at the end of the night you can have your favorite one. And so she keep trading up trading up if she got a bigger one or a different one or better one or whatever something she was more excited about. She’d give it to her daddy and he would give her the other one. She would give that one to another child and at the end of the night she thoroughly enjoyed that piece of candy and she didn’t go sugar crazy. She’s not used to sugar so there’s a little bit much but we went ahead and gave her some veggies too which kind of nullify the effect. When you take in fiber at the same time as sugar it lessens the on the insulin level so we sat down, had some nice veggies and we just let her lick on that lollipop thing that she had gotten from Sees candy. She enjoyed that so much and we let her lick on it all through dinner. She was eating her grow foods too, and she was excited about it.
The families and the lives that were touched by this child blew my mind.
I just know it’s like when you see your child doing things and you know it has nothing to do with who you are, this is her genuine LOVE at work through her. This is the Spirit’s love at work through this little person. It was so amazing and she was just lit up with joy.
Last year we went ahead did the traditional Halloween trick or treating.
We did throw a little party down the block but we also did the traditional kind of Halloween trick or treating thing. Afterward she felt that pressure and derailed emotionally, yet she didn’t even have candy at all. Even though she didn’t know it was but she was just like kind of like tweaking out a little bit an just to see the way that the perspective shift and the behavior shifted in the same exact day and in the second half of the day she had candy and she still was so obedient.
She was so focused on loving others that by the end of the night she’s running up and down the mall, down the mall and she’s finding people dropping baby bottles and her picking up the baby bottles, giving it back to the mommy, she saw sweater that dropped, picked it up, found the owner of it. She searched around the mall until she found the owner of this little pink jacket.
And that was her Halloween. She was focused on loving and giving and being outside herself and it was just mind-blowing to watch that happen and then as the parents saw that they were thinking
“Oh my goodness! I’m going to do this next year too.” So a big group of us are going to do this, next year.
The things that were created deep within her from this experience were so powerful and profound. It was a blessing to be able to see how she served others and blessed others and inspired other families just a little tiny four year old. Never underestimate what you can do if you’re younger than someone. If your kid watching this keep in mind sometimes you’re sent here to serve others. Sometimes we are supposed to learn from you like I learn from little Mia Bella. She’s four and a half years old and she showed me what compassion is all about. I love you guys and let’s make this a compassionate holiday.